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Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.

Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes darling I still do, only difference is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.

Q:- what do u get when u cross a librarian and a lawyer? A:- "All the information you want, except you can't understand it."

Q:) Why do Gods stay up in heaven? A:) Because they are afraid of what they have created!

Funny Answering Machine Messages Please leave a message  However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

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They say Love is in the air... shit if only I had a plane right now!

Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.

Seeking luv iz a mission... finding luv iz a complexed ambition... so y not go wiv the asian tradition, and let the parentz make the decision...

Regular Naps Prevent Old Age... Especially If You Take Them While Driving!

Think Well Work Well Eat Well Sleep Well Play Well and also put ur Mobile inside the same well Because you r not messageing me... well

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